How I will escape where I was

Being a writer sometimes gives me a burden. Lots of questions come out of my mind and roar intensely: "How can I write a perfect novel? How can I convey my ideas to readers in a right way? How can I have new ideas that make others feel curious?" So I sit for a long day, looking at the laptop screen and feel powerless. From time to time, I want to relax my mind by doing nothing but looking vaguely and thinking worthless things.

I don't escape for my whole life, just for a while to arrange the stuff in my head...

When I said that I was writing a book, surely there were many people suspecting my ability because I was not a perfect one in the place I was working for. What's more, announcing you are doing something great at this age seems to be a joke; therefore, I think lots of people, even the ones I respect like my friends never give me comments or any advice. I always welcome creative ideas though the world thinks that it is not real or over-thought. Perhaps it is the reason why I wouldn't love to release my own world of thoughts to people who don't welcome them. They seem to stick with the old-fashioned conceptions which are mainstream. I desire to look for a private world where there are only me and strange people. I will disappear for a while.

How can I fly high when there are so many obstacles around?
The introverts like me never feel lonely when they sit alone, go out alone or do something by their own. Sometimes I don't feel like doing the jobs anyone tells me to do, I avoid being found, being called, being bothered, being interrupted and being taken responsibilities for the things I don't pour my heart into this. So, I want to escape, I want to live my own life with the things I harbour for my whole life: design a book I love. You can help me by not interrupting me.

I want to re-define myself
People are always complicated: their thoughts, their lifestyle, their ideas, their love. Never easy to attain their psychology and never able to quickly run into their own life. Being  a writer, you must put you into their shoes to figure out the size they need, the situation they are in. Although I never feel bored with my ideas and never tired of writing them down, I become overwhelmed occasionally. Now, I am in this situation when my ideas are getting stuck. It sucks !

How come can you understand that ?
If only I could ignore the world I am in to disappear for a while. At the moment, I desire to refuse all the jobs from my club, all the projects from the company I am working for. I want to travel, to discover the people, to look at the crowd, the single person like Sherlock Holmes - the most well-known detective I have ever known. I don't feel excited with facebook, all the social networks I logged in. I don't want to dive into this world of silly stuff, I would prefer to explore the lively places outside instead. The social network wastes my life, wastes my young age as well.

Now, it is my turn.
Who will sympathize for my stories. I don't want to belong to anywhere, I want to belong to the place I am creating. Sometimes "gap year" jumps out of my mind and conquers me for a long time: "It is time for you to do what you love. Going somewhere else. Love one person. No, love is not a good choice because It can tie you with a fixed pillar. You can explore the tribe in the Africa, feel brave to live there without thinking about terrorism. Moving to another country, taste a strange food from the Indian people, write a book about the special people you meet as you wished to." Life is awesome when I imagine.

                                            My world is 
                              a big universe 
                where I look for
     a goal to aim at.

Now, you can do it. People can say you are so irresponsible but you will change, Trang. You should now give you a chance, to live your own life, not others'. You fly with the wings you have, you write your life book.

I wish I have my own paradise like that
Why not now?

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